2 of a kind?

At 2 years old, im lucky if i can get one of my boys to take a nap. If he does go down (usually Corbin), my day calms down. Cole will watch a movie or play quietly alone and i can enjoy an hour-ish of blissful silence while i fold the laundry or even waste to much time on pinterest :). As a mom of twins, its as much as i can hope for. And i savor every second of this almost me time. Today, as i sneaked through the family room before being spotted by Cole, i stopped to look at him. He looked so lonely and the guilt set in. My plan of a popsicle and sudoku immediately changed as i asked him if i could hold him and watch a movie. His eyes lit up as he jumped up and down saying yay yay yay! As we watch Thomas he looks at me every few minutes and smiles then he tells me about the different trains. Now, from his excitement you might think i never spend any time with the poor boy. I always thought i spent too much time. Im with my boys nearly 24/7. Holding them, breaking up fights, feeding, dressing, bathing, and playing with them. But what hit me at that moment was i never spend time with HIM. Either of them, one on one. Everything is me and the boys. Not me and Cole. Or me and Corbin. I think as moms of twins not only do we lose our own identities, but sometimes our twins lose theirs. I know their different. I see their individual strengths and qualities, their different likes and dislikes. they couldnt be more different from each other. Yet ive never thought about the individual attention they needed. As much as i love my boys together, i will definitely be learning how to enjoy them one at a time.

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