Lament of a stay at home mom

The most under paid, disrespected job of them all. No, not a junior high custodian or a walmart stocker, but a stay at home mom. Perhaps my job is more flexible than some. And by flexible I mean, I can go to a friends house for a playdate in the morning, and clean house later, but that doesnt mean its easy. Maybe I am slacking some mornings. But I certainly make up for it at 10pm. Maybe I do have "down time" where I get to play with the kids. But I also get to deal with the fighting, screaming, poopy diapers, spills, and all else that comes with the territory 24/7. I dont get weekends off. I dont get a full nights sleep. No, being a stay at home parent is not for the faint of heart. My house isnt spotless. I dont think I would like it that way anyhow. But my kids are happy, well cared for, and fed. I cook, clean, do laundry, change diapers, bath kids, drive to piano lessons, girl scouts, and any sports of the moment, I wake up at all hours of the night, sometimes for hours, I do all the grocery shopping with at least 2 kids, I make all appointments, and make sure whoever needs to be there is, I go to the bank, drop off the rent, pick up prescriptions...ok, you get it right? Basically I am at the beck and call of my entire family. Im tired of being told how easy I have it. I work damn hard. I dream of sleeping in on a sunday morning -of course these dreams are sporadically, in between waking babies. Now, this is meant as no disrespect to my dear husband, who I know works his butt off, but I do too!! Guess what people. There is no laundry fairy!! Other common errors? A good meal sometimes takes hours to make!! Just because the house is a mess now, does not mean I didnt clean it today. Twice!! Nursing babies takes time. And just because I choose to sit and nurse a baby or two doesnt mean Im lazy!! Guess what. I dont always like going to the park! Tball games and piano recitals bore me too! But I do these things because its my job. And I love it. But dont disrespect the stay at home. I think alot more parents should stay home. Our country is so obsessed with material possessions that we are all led to believe that we need 2 incomes to survive. Well, with sacrifice, you can live on 1!! Im not going to work just to pay for daycare, then come home and do all the things I do now. I dont need 2 full time jobs thank you. Maybe if more kids had a competent parent at home they would get in less trouble. Our kids should not be raising themselves. Take the kids who live behind me. They cuss like sailors, skateboard all over Jordan Landing -Ive almost hit them several times cause they dont get out of the road-, they pick on smaller kids, swim at the pool alone, the list goes on. Oh, and did I mention these kids are ages 7-12? And now they are in charge of their little brother all the time, who is around 4. Oh good. One more. I knew the 7 year old last year cause hes in Brooklyns class and he was a cute, good kid. Tyler used to love playing with him. This last year Ive watched him go downhill and its sad. My kids are no longer allowed to play with them. Tired of them getting punched and I dont want them talking the way they do. NO parental supervision. Being a stay at home parent should not be taboo. Now I understand the cases of single parents. Ive been there. You have to work and do it all. I understand that. And honestly, some days I would rather be at work outside the home. I did enjoy coming home to a clean house and kids that were happy to see me. Instead I get ornery kids, food thrown at me, dog mess to clean up and no reason to even put on mascara anymore. Im inches from a nervous breakdown at least 4 days a week. And I wouldnt trade it for anything.

Dirty words

Money. The dirtiest word I know. It controls everything from our marriages, to our kids educations, to the type of pets we can own and where we can live. I don't know about you, but at least %75 of the arguments my husband and I get in involve money. Where does it go? How can we get more? We're slaves to a broken system that keeps the poor poor, the rich richer, and leaves the middle class to fend for themselves. After all, we don't need the tax breaks, right? We never need public assistance such as medicaid, right? My husband works 50+ hours a week. This should be enough. Should be. We live paycheck to paycheck, so one little slip and we're flat on our asses. Why do we need satellite TV? Cell phones with Internet? Cell phones at all? Video game systems, wifi, fancy cars, and steak for dinner? Why do we depend on these things to survive? They are all things we can live without, but the theory of keeping up with the Jones' is just to great. We cant help but want bigger, better and more. Perhaps we should take a lesson from our grandparents, and scale back. Pay cash, and and take pride in our credit. Why shouldn't a parent be able to stay at home with the kids? Why should we have to depend on two full time incomes, and allow our kids to be raised by Hannah Montana and MTV? The truth is, most of us can survive on a single income. We just choose to live more extravagantly than necessary. Of course, "stay at home parent" is a taboo phrase all on its own, but we'll save that one for another post. As I write this, my family and I have made the decision to move in with my parents. This is probably one of the hardest decisions we've ever had to make, but at the same time, most likely the best for our future. In about 7 months time, we should be able to get ourselves completely out of debt. At which time, we hope to get into a home of our own. I hate the thought of giving up my home. Even if it is a rental. Its my home. Its my kids home. I love my neighborhood, I love having my own bathroom, my own kitchen, and the think I may miss the most; central air. But its time to look at the big picture. Our money situation, and bad decisions, have given us 2 options; live paycheck to paycheck paying the minimum on everything and let the bills pile up while renting a 3bdrm townhouse with our family of 7, or move in with the parents, live in a cramped space for half a year, and moving on to bigger and better things. Obviously owning our own home is the better option, but the short term of that makes me shudder. I love my parents, but I sure do love my space. I hate having to be dependent on others. I hate asking for help. I'm the type who would rather wallow in self pity and drown in the financial pit Ive dug than admit I need help. This has been a long time coming, and a most difficult decision to make. But my kids deserve better than this. They deserve the security of a well stocked savings account. They deserve clothes that fit and look nice before school starts. I used to be so good with money. Not sure what happened. Time to get back to basics and start filling up this pit of ruin. I know we can do it. It wont be easy, but ask me in a year. Ill tell you what a great decision it was, and how much better off we are because of it. Ask me now, and well, I'm still struggling with the idea.